Took this from Hana Fedora blog since she said it going viral through out U.K. So, sesiapa yang bakal menjadi ibu / ayah, mayb this a lil fun facts that you may refer on what will be happened when you become a parents.
This just like a fun test :) and let see if this is true from what I'd experienced so far......perjalanan sebagai ibu masih panjang lagi......Amin. InsyaAllah.
Test 1: Preparation
Women: To prepare for pregnancy
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.
Comments : This is so true since I'm not fully breastfeeding. Gained 18kgs, managed to shed 10 kgs only! Gyne said the normal pregnant people gain 10kg for the whole preggy months. Pssstt Doc, 10 kgs is impossible if you're living in Malaysia! Don't ask how much hubby gained even though he's not pregnant :P
Men: To prepare for children
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.
Comments : Kalau dulu takat beli ayam, daging and households. Now kalau pergi kedai mesti beli baby biscuits la, diapers, wet tissue etc. Not included kalau drink FM kena beli bertin-tin :D yes, belanja meningkat at least 20% from normal.
Test 2: Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
Comments : We heard stories from our parents on raising us. Now we enjoy experiencing it! haha
Test 3: Nights
To discover how the nights will feel
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.
Comments : I'm facing this for nearly 2 years now! Especially kalau siang dia dok main tak hengat dunia, malam melalak kepenatan. Now ibu need to massage Faatih nye kaki every nitght tau. Habis aku siapa nak urut???? And I think it will keep until u have 2,3,4...errr children? What 10-20 years?
Test 4: Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.
Comments : Nak pakai diapers pon susah, apa lagi pakai baju? Susu and youtube are the easiest solution!
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.
Test 5: Cars
1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Comments : Yes, we aim for 5 doors SUV! ahhaha When travel, beg ayah + ibu, beg Faatih, bakul susu with air panas, air sejuk, botol, makanan, biskot for snack, diapers blom masuk kasut sepasang, selipar sepasang......blom masuk books and favourite tyos and the list goes on. True me, all this will avoid troble during travelling.
Test 6: Going For a Walk
1. Wait.
2. Go out the front door.
3. Come back in again.
4. Go out.
5. Come back in again.
6. Go out again.
7. Walk down the front path.
8. Walk back up it.
9. Walk down it again.
10. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
12. Retrace your steps.
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you. 14. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Comments : Pakaikan Faatih kasut, put up his stroller dalam kereta, hidupkan enjin, while kunci pintu rumah Faatih dah lari sampai pagar, try panggil "Faatih.....come, naik kereta" tak datang gak then have to chase him and put him into car, bukak tingkap sket sebab dia dah pandai kunci pintu kereta, then bukak pagar rumah, masuk kereta and ready to reverse. Baru tutup pagar rumah! don't forget put your child into carseat, otherwise, you masuk, dia lari ke belakang kereta. This apply when you're alone with your child!
Test 7: Conversations with children
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.
Comments : "Faatih.....jom tengok Pororo" (lari gi dapur suh bukak peti ais), Faatih.....come tengok Pororo (he screams "alolololo" (Pororo faatih version)) still kat dapur waiting for me to bukak peti ais. Faatih...come la.....Faaaatihhhh (time rasa nak jadi raksaksa gorgon dah)
Test 8: Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Comments : So far, Faatih belum jadi destroyer, tapi dia ada satu tabiat kalau naik stroller mesti julurkan kaki. End up, barang kat rak sume jatuh kena kaki dia...then aku la yang tukang letak balik kann....
Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.
Comments : Sekarang dah pandai nak makan sendiri. Kalau kita suapakn dia akan jer tak nak makan.....sila la alas bawah kerusi baby dengan tikar getah. Best way dari kena sapu / vacuum benda2 yang tumpah tu...hehehe
Test 10: TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.
Comments : Upin, Ipin, Jarjit, Fizi, Ehsan, Mei Mei, Mael, Kak Ros, Boboiboy, Gopal, Yaya, Adudu, Ocobot, Probe, Pororo, Tayo, Pocoyo, Zou, Agent Oso.....am I doing good so far??
Test 11: Mess Can you stand the mess children make?
To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.
5. Drag randomly items from one room to another room & leave them there.
Comments : Oat stains can be anywhere in our house. carpet, tv, sofa, bedsheet pon ada and do not surprise if you found some banana in your wardrobe or slice of bread under the pillow :P
Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each 'Mummy'. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Comments : Smartphone / tablet are the best solution so far! And not to forget, enough milk and food supply for him!
Test 13: Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Comments : Jangan pelik bila anda call saya ada "background" seperti budak nangis dan jeritan "Boboiboy" atau Alolololo (Pororo) hahahah
Test 14: Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!
Comments : Dah siap-siap nak keluar (bayangkan dah kunci rumah and masuk dalam kereta) tetiba bau tidak menyenangkan.......yaaa....anakku popo.....just great. Bukak rumah balik dengan harapan nak basuh popo end up anak uols dah pandai main getah air and pancut air tu kat uols. Lencun jadinya...pastu rasa mcm fed up nak keluar rumah sebab baju, make up sume maca baru pas kena hujan.......
Anyway, from my experience, I tak plan-plan nak beranak as me and hubby go with the flow masa pas kawin dulu. We got Faatih 10 months after we married and we learn through hard way. Belum sempat nak honeymoon bagai dah ada "orang ketiga" Kata orang kalau benda tu tak berlaku maka kita tak belajar......and I'm proud I besarkan Faatih with my own hands :) so yang baru pregnant or baru kawin, just look at others and you may plan. In fact, your life will be much different...totally!!!
Adik Faatih? Lekkk luuuuuu.........................
No comments:
Post a Comment